I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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