you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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