Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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