I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
