You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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