he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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