i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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