Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
