He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
