dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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