: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
