i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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