I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
