Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
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I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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