YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
