hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
