just tell him i said nine months
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize