I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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