he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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