This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
