the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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