The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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