i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
