Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
