Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
