he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
