im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
