you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
