Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
