there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
