its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
