Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
