Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just want to make out with him forever
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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