Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
