There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
