dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
