I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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