it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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