I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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