I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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