someone get that fucking seahorse.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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