Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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