dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
