6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
