Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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