You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I cannot find my penis.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
