He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So much Jack, so little girl.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
