I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
