like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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