I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
