I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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