4 words: hood of his car
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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