We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
