you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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