if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
