Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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