This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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